“If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.”
My passion is helping women to cultivate self-approval from within. I’ve seen from working with clients (and on my own journey!) that this is a crucial step in order to truly follow our own goals and desires. Having this unconscious need to be approved of and accepted by others, can mean we sell ourselves short and often feel unworthy or less than.
Do you unconsciously seek external approval through:
- People pleasing (saying ‘yes’ even when you really don’t want to!)
- Being in ‘control’ of everything
- Silencing your own needs in favour of others’
- Codependency (a ‘fixer’ who needs to be needed)
- Perfectionism
- Always being a ‘good girl’ or following rules
- Overworking or feel a need to over achieve
- Appearing like you’ve got your shit together (when truly you’re just figuring it out!)
- Constantly complaining, criticising or judging
- Hiding your vulnerability
- Feel guilty if you stop or rest
All these lead to exhaustion and burn out (among many other things!). It actually requires more energy to play these roles as we often edit, alter and censor ourselves in order to please others. Symptoms can also appear in the body such as tension, tightness of muscles, aches, pains, brain fog, headaches and inflexibility. I ticked a lot of these boxes. The funny thing is though, this was all unconscious to me. I never realised at the time that my constant need for ‘doing’ was a cry for approval and validation.
But it makes sense, right? When you think about it we’re always taught to seek outside of ourselves for approval – from parents, family, friends, peers, society, culture, education, religion etc. We’re taught who, and how we’re meant to be in order to receive love, achieve ‘success’ in life, and feel like we belong.
Well my mission is to help clients to flip the script because that way doesn’t work, period. External approval is built on shaky ground. It is fleeting and unsustainable long term, hence we’re all frazzled, anxious, burnt out, and unable to follow through on our own dreams, goals and desires. Living in this way costs us our inner peace (and anything that costs us our inner peace is far too expensive!).
I’m here to tell clients there is another way! When you have your own back, and work to your own self-approval from within, you empower yourself and everything shifts. We regain the energy we expended on these things, and we redirect it towards our own goals and desires. As a result we feel more authentic, in alignment, more joyful, and we realise we are enough, no matter what anyone else thinks! There’s an internal ease that comes with self-approval that keeps us focused on our own lane, and not waste time trying to be in someone else’s lane (in fact we happily cheer them on!). In essence, we flourish.
Operating in this way is your innate way of being. It takes a bit of rewiring, patience and self-compassion, but it is possible to change course and shift to what I call INSIDE OUT living. When you do this, you can redefine what ‘success’ looks like for you in your life (*hint this may look slightly different to other people in your life and that’s perfectly normal. We are not mass manufactured robots built to be the same, we’re more like trees in a forest, all unique and special in our own is-ness).
This is where I step in as a coach – to lead you down a path I’ve already trodden. I can’t do the work for you, but I can support you and help you cultivate this new mode of being. I see my all my clients as whole, creative and resourceful, completely capable of making the right decisions for themselves. It’s my role to help you remember this, and see where you have been giving away your power or silencing your own voice, and empowering yourself again. I help you move beyond your current conditioning and expand your perspective of what’s possible for you. You have one wild and precious life, what are you choosing to do with it?
I hold a compassionate, non-judgmental, confidential space for clients to come as they are.
Each session is 75 minutes and I incorporate a holistic approach for change focusing on our 4 bodies – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I use my own DART Process (which stands for Desire, Awareness, Reshape & Tools) to help you create lasting change. Sessions are done online via Zoom making it easier to fit your schedule. I recommend a minimum of 4 sessions in order to gain momentum.
